Registered VA Sex Offender in Women’s Locker Room: Protecting Our Kids in a Society that Endorses Lies and Deception

The Hidden Danger of Lies and Deception: Protecting Our Children from Harm

As parents, our instinct is to protect our children from harm. We teach them to look both ways before crossing the street, to avoid talking to strangers, and to never touch a hot stove. But one of the most critical safety lessons we can impart is teaching them about the danger of lies and deception.

Why Lies and Deception Are Dangerous

Lies and deception are powerful tools used by those who wish to manipulate, control, or harm our children. Child predators often use lies to build trust, create confusion, and silence their victims. It’s not always the “stranger” we imagine—it can be someone our child knows, trusts, and even loves.

Offenders use deception to hide bad behavior, gain access, and keep children silent. By teaching our children about lies, we give them the tools to recognize manipulation and the courage to speak up when something doesn’t feel right.

Teaching Children About Lies and Deception

Many parents worry about frightening their children with talks of danger. But the truth is, we can empower our children without making them fearful. The key is to communicate in a loving, honest, and age-appropriate way.

1. Make It Simple and Relatable

Children understand the concept of truth and lies from an early age. Use simple, relatable examples to explain the difference between safe secrets and unsafe secrets:

• Safe Secrets: Surprises that will eventually be revealed, like birthday presents or surprise parties.
• Unsafe Secrets: Anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, scared, or worried, especially if someone asks them to “keep it a secret forever.”

Example to Share with Your Child:
“Surprises are fun because they don’t last forever, like a birthday present that everyone finds out about when you open it. But if someone tells you to never, ever tell a secret, that’s different. That’s not safe.”

2. Help Them Recognize Manipulation

Explain that people who want to trick or hurt them often use lies or secrets.

• Teach them that trustworthy adults don’t ask children to keep secrets from their parents or loved ones.
• Let them know it’s okay to question what they’re told, even by adults.

Example to Share with Your Child:
“Sometimes, people who aren’t safe might lie to make you do something you don’t want to do. They might say things like, ‘This is our secret’ or ‘You’ll get in trouble if you tell.’ But safe adults don’t make kids keep secrets like that.”

3. Empower Them to Speak Up

One of the most powerful tools we can give our children is the confidence to speak up.

• Remind them that they will never get in trouble for telling the truth, especially if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
• Reinforce that they can always come to you, no matter what.

Example to Share with Your Child:
“It’s okay to tell me anything. Even if someone says you’ll get in trouble, I promise you won’t. I love you, and my job is to keep you safe. You let me worry about that. That is what safe adults do. Protect children.”

Signs of Deception and Unsafe Behavior

It’s crucial to teach children to recognize signs of deception and unsafe behavior. This doesn’t mean making them distrustful. They are going to trust. They are going to  get the tools to trust their instincts.  Therefore, they will learn which people are trustworthy and which are not. 

Signs to Teach Your Child:

• Confusion or Mixed Messages: If someone says one thing but does another.
• Secrets with Threats: If someone says they’ll get hurt or in trouble if the child tells.
• Promises of Special Favors: If someone offers gifts or favors to keep a secret.

Example to Share with Your Child:
“If someone says you’ll get in trouble or that something bad will happen if you tell, that’s a trick. It’s not true, and you can always tell me.”

“If someone lies to you, they are not a trustworthy person.”

Modeling Truth and Transparency at Home

Children learn by example, so modeling honesty and transparency at home is essential.

• Be truthful with your child, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
• Admit mistakes and show that it’s okay to be honest, even when it’s difficult.
• Praise honesty to reinforce trust and communication.

Example to Practice:
If you make a mistake, acknowledge it: “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that even grown-ups get things wrong sometimes. What’s important is being honest and learning from it.”

Creating a Safe Space for Communication

The most important part of protecting our children is creating an environment where they feel safe to communicate.

• Regularly check in with your child about their feelings and experiences.
• Listen without judgment, allowing them to express themselves freely.
• Reinforce that they can always come to you, no matter what.

Example of What to Say:
“I love you, and I want to know everything that happens in your world. There’s nothing you could say that would make me stop loving you or get you in trouble.”

Final Thoughts: Protecting Through Empowerment

Talking about lies and deception isn’t about making our children fearful—it’s about empowering them with knowledge and confidence. When children understand that lies can be used to trick or hurt them, they’re better equipped to recognize manipulation and speak up.

Our role as parents is to prepare, protect, and empower. By teaching our children to recognize deception and trust their instincts, we help them navigate the world safely and confidently.

Together, we can create a safer world for our children—one conversation at a time.

If You Need Help or Support

If you or someone you know needs help protecting a child from harm, reach out to trusted resources like child protection agencies or hotlines that are truthful, child-centered, and acknowledge sex-based differences for support.

Remember, knowledge is power, and communication is the key to safety.