Bullies Side with Other Bullies—Don’t Let It Stun You, Take Action

One of the most frustrating and painful things a parent can witness is their child being bullied. But what makes it even worse? Seeing other bullies come to the abuser’s defense.

It happens in schools, on social media, in sports teams, and even among adults who should know better. A bully gets called out, and suddenly they have a whole crew ready to excuse them, defend them, or even join in on harming the victim.

And when that happens, it can feel like a wave crashing down all at once. Your child is already being mistreated, and now the people who should be protecting them—teachers, administrators, other parents—are either ignoring it, excusing it, or siding with the aggressor.

Do Not Let This Stun You—Act

Bullies stick together because power protects power. Weak people love aligning themselves with the strong, even when those “strong” ones are using their power to harm others.

But here’s what you must remember:

• Your child is watching you. How you react teaches them what they deserve and how to advocate for themselves.
• You are not powerless. Schools, organizations, and public spaces have policies, and you can hold them accountable.
• You don’t need permission to protect your child.

How to Advocate for Your Child

1. Document Everything

• Keep a record of every incident, message, or conversation.
• Screenshot online harassment before it disappears.
• Write down names, dates, locations, and adults present.
• If the bullying caused injuries, take photos and save medical reports.

2. Use Their Own Policies Against Them

• Schools, organizations, and programs have rules against bullying and harassment. Get a copy of the policies and highlight where they are failing.
• File formal complaints in writing. Emails create a paper trail that can’t be ignored.

3. Demand Action, Not Excuses

• Schools may try to dismiss concerns with:
  • “Kids will be kids.”
  • “We didn’t see it happen.”
  • “Maybe your child is overreacting.”
• Ask direct questions:
  • “What is your written policy on bullying?”
  • “What are the specific steps you are taking to protect my child?”
  • “Are you telling me that my child’s safety is not a priority?”

4. Escalate if Necessary

• If teachers won’t act, go to the principal.
• If the principal won’t act, go to the superintendent.
• If the school board is unresponsive, file a formal complaint with the Department of Education.
• If the bullying is violent, involve law enforcement.

5. Protect Your Child’s Mental & Emotional Health

• Make home a safe space. Validate their feelings and reassure them that they are loved, valued, and protected.
• Seek professional help. Therapy, counseling, or support groups can help counteract the damage.
• Teach them to name what’s happening. Saying, “This is bullying. This is harassment. This is unacceptable,” is powerful.

The Bottom Line

Bullies side with other bullies because cowards run in packs.

But you? You are not a coward.

Build all the support that you need for your own mental health and wellness. Therapy, supportive friends and family, allies, organizations, public support, legal support-whatever it takes.

Your child needs an advocate. Be relentless. Be loud. Be the force that makes people uncomfortable—because that’s what it takes to create real change.

10 Non-Negotiable Boundaries All Children Have a Right to Set

How to Stop Adults from Gaslighting Kids About Abuse

Lessons WE Should Have Learned from School Volunteer Deonte Carraway