We teach children to look both ways before crossing the street because prevention is valuable. We don't tell them to wait until a car hits them before
We teach children to look both ways before crossing the street because prevention is valuable. We don’t tell them to wait until a car hits them before deciding whether traffic is dangerous. But too many girls in this world are taught to sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the family, the faith community, the school, or his feelings.
I would give girls questions they can carry into adolescence and adulthood:
Does this person care about my safety even when protecting me is inconvenient?
Can I say no without being punished, humiliated, or threatened?
Does this adult listen when I say something is wrong?
Am I being asked to accept something that this person would not want for someone they love?
When something unfair happens, does this person address the unfairness or expect me to endure it quietly?
Does this person celebrate my abilities, ambitions, and achievements without making me feel guilty for having them?
These are not instructions to distrust everybody. They are tools for recognizing the difference between genuine support and conditional approval.
In schools, girls should recognize adults who take harassment seriously before it escalates. Adults who don’t make a girl’s education dependent upon how much mistreatment she can tolerate.
In families and communities, girls should learn that someone who insists upon unquestioning obedience, secrecy, or silence is not automatically acting in their best interests.
And in healthcare, girls deserve adults who listen when they say something hurts, explain what is happening to their bodies, and respect their questions.
And children must know that when an adult fails these tests, the responsibility for that adult’s behavior belongs to the adult. A girl is not responsible for predicting every danger or preventing every act of mistreatment. She deserves to protect herself. She is a valuable, lovable, and worthy human being in her own right.
Safe People Don’t Need Endless Convincing to Respect a Boundary – Rosa’s Children
This Time is Teaching Us to Learn to Say “Yes” to Girls – WE Survive Abuse
Five More Places Where Girls Pay for What Others Get to Keep – Rosa’s Children
10 Ways to Raise Children Without Conditioning Them for Compliance – Rosa’s Children