Before we talk about trusting our instincts as parents, let’s pause and remember something important:

So many things once advertised as safe, modern, even miraculous — quietly failed women.

Let’s take a slow walk back. I bet you remember some of the commercials and print ads. I will not tell you which of these I remember personally but I will tell you that I know that some of my doctors really pushed them on me as the “cure all” without listening to the problem.

Wasn’t always race, -though too often it was- but often it was my sex. I noticed talking to other parents in waiting rooms when we don’t even speak the same native language, it seems to the same pattern with our children too. Pick a treatment and that is THE  treatment no matter the complaint. 

🕰️ Remember when transvaginal mesh was everywhere for prolapse and stress and incontinence?

Doctors were told it was quick and simple.
Women were told it was safe and life-changing.

Then came the stories:

• tearing

• erosion

• infections

• organ damage

• unbearable pain

• lives permanently altered

Only then did regulators step in. Too late for many.

🕰️ Remember Essure?

Essure was marketed as incision-free permanent birth control.

No incisions. No downtime.
“Permanent birth control — easy!”

Then the reality surfaced:

• coils breaking apart

• migration

• perforated organs

• Many women also reported autoimmune-like symptoms, though the exact link is still debated.

• unwanted pregnancies

Women weren’t believed — until lawsuits piled up.

🕰️ Remember “new and improved” breast implants?

They said:

“Totally safe now.”

Then women started reporting:

• inflammation

• fatigue

• strange immune reactions

And later — an associated rare cancer (BIA-ALCL) linked to certain textured implants.

🕰️ Remember hormone replacement therapy?

It was promoted as:

“Youth in a pill.”

Then major studies revealed increased risks for some women — and the messaging changed overnight.

🕰️ Remember Yaz and Yasmin?

Marketed like beauty products:

“Clearer skin. Fewer side effects!”

Then came the elevated blood clot risk warnings.

🕰️ Remember power morcellators?

They allowed “less invasive surgery.”

But for some women, they accidentally spread hidden cancer through the abdomen.

🕰️ Remember Depo-Provera?

Convenient. Discreet.

Then women found out — bone density loss, especially in teens.

🕰️ Remember talc baby powder?

Soft, gentle, innocent. This was on every grandmother’s dresser top and they made us put it on too.

Now pulled by major manufacturers and removed from many shelves over ovarian cancer concerns and large lawsuits — even as scientists continue to debate the strength of the link.

• Historically, women’s health has been under-researched.

• Devices/drugs targeting women (or widely used in women) have had major safety revelations after mass use.

• OB/GYN and women’s pain literature strongly support the idea that women’s complaints are often dismissed or minimized.

None of this means doctors are villains.

But it does mean something else:

Women have been the testing ground more often than we were told.

And each time, our intuition whispered first.

🌿 Now — bring it back to mothers today

After all of that history, it makes sense that mothers pause.

Not because they hate medicine.
Not because they mistrust science.

But because they’ve lived long enough to know:

Medicine learns by making mistakes.
And too often, women pay the price for those mistakes

So here’s the truth mothers need to hear:

🌸 You are not wrong to pause.

You are protecting the child entrusted to you.

🌸 You are not wrong to ask again.

Real medicine welcomes and partners with informed parents.

🌸 You are not wrong to research.

Knowledge is love in action.

🌸 You are not wrong to trust your gut.

That quiet alarm often rings before the headlines do.

🌸 You are not wrong to say “not yet.”

Waiting is not rebellion — sometimes it’s wisdom.

🌸 You are not wrong to challenge lawmakers and leaders.

They do not raise your children.
They do not pay your bills.
They do not carry your grief if something goes wrong.

Parents do.

Because here is the truth:

Parents nurture.
Parents comfort.
Parents live with the outcomes.
Parents carry the weight.
Parents love the child — not the policy, not the device, not the profit line.

And women, especially, carry deep memory:

“The medical community has been wrong before.
And it will be wrong again.
That’s why it’s called the practice of medicine.”

Your pause is not fear.

Your pause is love.

Your pause is wisdom.

Your pause is history speaking through you. Some of us lived through all of this, and more, but I’m listening to the children and not all of them are faring as well. Not all of them are still here. 

When it comes to our children, it is okay to slow down. It is okay to pause. It is okay to stop. Why wouldn’t we?

🕊️ Sidebar: “Why I’m Urging You to Pause — Not Panic”

I am not against doctors.
I am not against medicine.
I am not against treatment.

I am for:

• informed consent
• honest discussion of risks
• listening to women
• time to think — without pressure
• parents having a real voice

All of history shows that some “breakthroughs” weren’t as safe as promised.
Pausing is not fear — pausing is protection.

We can respect the practice of medicine and still ask careful questions.
We can appreciate doctors and still get second, third, and fourth opinions.

Slow decisions save hearts, money, and sometimes lives.

This is post not medical advice.
This article is for education and advocacy. Every body and situation is different. Please talk with a trusted, qualified healthcare professional before making decisions — and feel empowered to ask questions, get second opinions, and take the time you need.

Once you have a medical expert you are comfortable with, it is okay to take your time to consider which treatment is the best for you and your family.

SOURCE LINKS

• The FDA ordered transvaginal mesh for prolapse off the U.S. market after serious complications were documented.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/implants-and-prosthetics/urogynecologic-surgical-mesh-implants

• Essure was removed from U.S. sales after years of reports of migration, perforation, pain, and unintended pregnancies.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/implants-and-prosthetics/essure-permanent-birth-control

• Certain textured breast implants were linked to a rare cancer called BIA-ALCL.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/breast-implants/breast-implant-associated-anaplastic-large-cell-lymphoma-bia-alcl

• The Women’s Health Initiative changed hormone-therapy guidance after showing increased risk for some women.
https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/science/womens-health-initiative-whi

• Drospirenone-containing birth control pills (like Yaz/Yasmin) carry a higher risk of blood clots than some older pills.
https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/information-drospirenone-containing-birth-control-pills

• Power morcellators were restricted after evidence they could spread undiagnosed uterine cancers.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/safety-communications/update-fda-recommends-performing-contained-morcellation-when-laparoscopic-power-morcellation-appropriate

• Depo-Provera carries warnings about bone density loss, especially for teens and long-term use.
https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/depo-provera-medroxyprogesterone-acetate-injectable-suspension

• Talc used in the genital area has been associated with ovarian cancer in some studies, prompting large lawsuits and product withdrawals.
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/ovarian-cancer/causes-risks-prevention/talcum-powder-and-cancer.html

• FDA warned that “vaginal rejuvenation” lasers caused burns, scarring, and pain — with little evidence of benefit.
https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/fda-warns-against-use-vaginal-rejuvenation-devices