I do think that when you see a structure on fire and there are people inside you have a human obligation to yell, "fire". -Tonya GJ Prince Let’s say
I do think that when you see a structure on fire and there are people inside you have a human obligation to yell, “fire”. -Tonya GJ Prince
Let’s say this plainly, with compassion:
John Money was a psychologist whose ideas once held a lot of power in medical spaces. For a while, people treated his theories like gospel—especially the idea that you could shape a child’s identity simply by raising them a certain way. And because he spoke with confidence, many parents trusted him.
But confidence isn’t the same as truth.
And authority isn’t the same as wisdom.
One of the families who trusted him most was the Reimers. After a medical accident harmed one of their infant twin boys, they went to John Money for help. He told the parents that the child could be raised as a girl and would grow up just fine. The parents—scared, overwhelmed, and doing their best with the information they had—followed his advice.
As the child grew, though, it became painfully clear that what Money promised wasn’t true. The child struggled deeply. The family struggled. Their story became a sign that what sounded scientific was really built on guesswork, ego, and a refusal to admit mistakes.
Eventually, another doctor at Johns Hopkins—Dr. Paul McHugh, who was then the Chief of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins—looked at the outcomes and said,
“This isn’t right. This isn’t helping children.”
He shut down the clinical program that Money’s ideas had shaped. That was the beginning of the end of Money’s influence.
So, whatever happened to John Money?
His theories didn’t hold up.
His methods didn’t protect children.
And the medical community slowly backed away from his work once the truth came to light.
He wasn’t punished in the way some parents might think—he kept his academic title until he passed—but his ideas no longer ruled the room. What survived wasn’t his theories, but the lessons they taught us.
And here is the heart of it:
Parents matter. Children matter. Instinct matters.
No expert should ever talk you out of what you know in your bones about your child. No theory should ever override a child’s lived reality or their inner sense of self. And no medical professional—no matter their training—should ever treat children like experiments.
As parents, you deserve partners, not dictators.
You deserve information, not intimidation.
And your child deserves care rooted in truth, humility, and humanity.
John Money’s downfall reminds us of something our grandmothers always knew:
When something doesn’t feel right, ask again. When it still doesn’t feel right, it is okay to step back. That is not hate, that is love.
A parent’s spirit will often see what the experts overlook.
It should unsettle us that one person’s untested ideas can shape entire systems… and how it often takes years, evidence, courage, and a strong unbowed, ‘shall not be moved’ internal voice filled with integrity for someone within the system to finally say, “Enough.”