How Society Trains Girls to Silence Themselves for the Sake of Boys An entire generation of girls is being taught that their needs, their boundaries,
How Society Trains Girls to Silence Themselves for the Sake of Boys
An entire generation of girls is being taught that their needs, their boundaries, and their voice come second to a boy’s ego, feelings, or entitlement.
And often—it starts with the smallest moments.
1. “Be nice—he’s just being a boy.”
When we dismiss teasing, boundary-pushing, or aggressive behavior as “boys being boys,” we tell girls that their discomfort is irrelevant.
2. We make girls say sorry… for saying no.
“Don’t hurt his feelings.”
“She didn’t mean to reject you.”
“Let him down easy.”
Why must girls carry the emotional burden for someone else’s disappointment?
3. We call assertive girls “mean” or “rude.”
When girls enforce their boundaries, we critique their tone instead of applauding their clarity.
4. We tell girls to forgive, even when no one apologized.
Especially in family or religious settings, girls are taught to “keep the peace” at all costs—while boys are rarely even held accountable for the harm.
5. We ask girls what they were wearing, where they were, or if they led him on.
Meanwhile, we ask boys, “What happened?”
This double standard turns girls into defendants and boys into victims of their own choices.
6. We make girls sit next to the disruptive boys.
To calm them. To be the “good influence.”
As if their education should revolve around babysitting someone else’s behavior.
7. We praise girls who are silent, smiling, and self-sacrificing.
And we shame girls who are bold, outspoken, and boundaried.
We call them “too grown,” “difficult,” “hateful” or “bossy.”
8. We tell girls to be flattered when boys harass them.
“He only pulled your hair because he likes you.”
We romanticize disrespect—and call it attention.
9. We minimize the seriousness of digital or emotional abuse.
When a girl says he won’t stop texting her, tracking her, or threatening her online—we say:
“Just block him.”
We don’t treat it as the danger it is.
10. We protect boys’ reputations over girls’ safety.
In schools, churches, families, and sports teams—when harm is exposed, we worry about what happens to him.
Rarely do we rally behind her.
11. We expect girls to do emotional labor from the time they can talk.
“Be patient with him.”
“He doesn’t know better.”
“Help him calm down.”
We’re training girls to be emotional service workers—for life.
12. We raise girls to be accommodating, but raise boys to expect accommodation.
This imbalance shows up in everything from playground games to dating, school discipline, and adulthood.
🌹 But What If We Stopped?
What if we raised girls who:
Believed they didn’t have to make anyone comfortable to be worthy
Knew they were allowed to be angry, disappointed, or decisive
Knew their bodies, time, and peace were sacred
Believed that kindness without consent is not kindness at all
And what if we raised boys who respected that?
✨ For the girls still learning to take up space:
We see you. All of you.
We hear you. All of you.
And we’re rewriting the rules with you in mind.