🛑 Secrets Are a Red Flag: Why No Adult Should Ask a Child to Hide Things from Their Family

At RosasChildren, we stand firmly on this truth:

Any adult who asks a child to keep a secret from their parent or caregiver is not safe.
Not possibly unsafe. Not misunderstood. Not safe.

Even when it sounds small:
“Don’t tell your mom—it’ll just worry her.”
“Let’s keep this between us. It’s not a big deal.”

It’s not harmless. It’s a pattern.

🧠 Let’s Be Clear: There Are No Safe Secrets Between Adults and Children

Healthy relationships with children are built on trust, transparency, and accountability.
Secrets destroy that. They train children to override their instincts. They confuse the child’s sense of safety and loyalty. They create vulnerability—the very thing predators rely on.

Predators love to be seen as:

• The one who “understands” the child better than their parent.

• The one who creates a “special” connection.

• The one who seems more compassionate, more progressive, more kind.

But let us tell the truth:

There is no test for intentions. There is no reliable indicator of whether someone is trustworthy with a child.
All we have is behavior. And when that behavior includes secrecy, the answer is no.

🏛️ Institutions Must Not Normalize Secrecy

It is deeply wrong—and dangerous—for institutions (schools, clinics, churches, nonprofits) to:

• Encourage minor children to keep secrets from their family.

• Frame secrecy as “privacy” when it isolates the child from their support system.

• Assume that the adult facilitating secrecy is morally superior or emotionally safer than the child’s family.

Compassion is not proven by tone of voice, educational level, or political language.
A predator can speak gently. A predator can smile. A predator can sound like the most understanding person in the room.

But here’s the truth:
It isn’t their child.

🛡️ The Role of Safe Adults

Safe adults:

• Reinforce open communication between children and caregivers.

• Never require secrecy for closeness, inclusion, or identity.

• Know that building trust with a child must never come at the cost of trust with the parent.

🚨 A Warning We All Need to Hear

If someone needs secrecy to maintain a relationship with your child—they are not safe.
If an institution defends adult-child secrecy as a virtue—it is failing your family.

At RosasChildren, we believe in:

• Parent-led safety

• Transparent care

• Protecting children before protecting anyone’s feelings

You have every right to question who is speaking into your child’s life.
You have every right to say no to secrecy—no matter how “nice” the person appears.

Your child’s safety is sacred.
And we will never ask you to gamble it.