As a domestic violence advocate, at times my work has come with unique risks that are often higher than in other professions. For instance, ...
As a domestic violence advocate, at times my work has come with unique risks that are often higher than in other professions. For instance, I’ve been followed to my car by the abusive partner of a woman I was assisting.
On another occasion, a different abuser came to our office, pretending to inquire about our services. He was clearly toying with us, having obtained one of our brochures from his wife—the same one I had given her in court. There have been a few more incidents like these over the years.
At times, I’ve had to make tough decisions about taking about whether to take on certain professional projects. There's passion, but then there's personal safety concerns too. On one particular project, I felt extremely conflicted. It involved coming in brief contact with both parties in abusive relationships.
However, after consulting with trusted law enforcement officers, I reevaluated my approach and changed my perspective. Without a bodyguard or law enforcement to back me up, it was going to be a have to be a "no." I was disappointed but it was the right choice for me, for that chapter of my life.
I was young and I had a difficult time telling my supervisor about my final decision because I believed that I should make a different choice.
"I should sacrifice more than I already do.
I should demonstrate that I am "die-hard" for this work. No limits!
The women I am serving have it harder than me right now."
But I was praying hard about my dilemma. Consulting others, including professional colleagues and, thankfully my right mind prevailed.
I had responsibilities in life.
I had a small child to care for and he deserved his mom's care.
Most of all, I had to prioritize myself.
Children
All children can and must have their needs met.
Children depend on us to do this work responsibly and make good choices on their behalf. Life-saving choices.
Every child ought to be afforded the right to spaces where they have the highest likelihood of body safety possible.
Sometimes that may mean that all of the children are not in spaces at the same time.
You know, this was done all the time when I was in school. It makes no sense to pretend that the passage of time has made that difficult to do now.
If there are young boys or young girls who need separate spaces for reasons the other children do not even need to be privy to, then so let it be done.
The main idea is physical and mental safety.
It is crucial, critical, and vital that we demonstrate to our children that they are worth this.
I hope we can avoid a generation of girls struggling to unlearn struggles with low self-worth because we taught them that their lives matter less than boys' wants and desires.
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